"nice"

pardon me for being flippant, uncaring, and cold-hearted: today, i did NOT want to buy a birthday present for a child.

i am not insensitive and unsympathetic, and i actually like children. however, i am offended by others' lack of competence when it comes to being considerate and generous. no, i do not believe i am the most considerate or generous person; i do believe that i possess a general understanding of these human expressions/notions, and that i express said notions appropriately.

therefore, let me explain the situation more clearly: there is a couple with whom we are acquainted, who has on numerous occasions, shown their ignorance and thoughtlessness when it comes to simple consideration; i.e., when they are invited to someone's house, they do not bring (drink/snack/___). instead, they reach their [grubby] hands into your (ok... my) fridge and plainly exclaim, "i'm taking a beer, mmm-kay?" take into consideration that this action follows their voracious consumption of food that leaves practical scraps for the rest of the guests.

oh, and this is not the first incident. one of many, in fact.

it doesn't alleviate my growing animosity that mutual friends have similar and several anecdotes to confirm my judgment of this couple. it doesn't help that i helped throw [money at] a baby shower for this couple-- including the gift-- for which i received not a smidgen of appreciation or gratitude. it doesn't assuage my irritation when the couple is constantly borrowing money or bumming cigarettes (even from strangers). lastly, it definitely doesn't mitigate the situation when i am forced to buy a present for their child (in my mind, for THEM) when i feel they don't deserve it. and when i begrudgingly agree, i am chided for my pettiness and spite. i am reminded that we should not punish the child [that we rarely see] for her parents' misgivings. i am shamed for thinking such petulant thoughts. so we buy her a birthday gift. oh, and we weren't even invited to the party.

result: resentment.

my question is, why must we take the high road? i feel as if i'm hoarding these feelings that are quickly turning noxious. i have said something once (grubby-hand-in-fridge incident) and immediately, i felt bitchy. just one beer, right? but it's been numerous beers (or other items) on several occasions with different people. one could argue that it's not my business, but if it happens at my house, it is. others can remain silent, but it's only reaffirming their behavior and fueling the rants. i'm already highly passive-aggressive, so i don't need another thing to add to my plate (that's another blog).

sigh. the end.